Humor Quotes

"Knowledge is power, but humor is freedom."

"I've never been one to take myself too seriously."

"I've never regretted making people laugh, even at my own expense."

"I've never met a problem that couldn't be solved with a little humor and a lot of heart."

"You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."

"I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age, I have to hold on to something."

"When I was a boy, the Dead Sea was only sick."

"I'd go out with women my age, but there are no women my age."

"The doctors gave me six months to live. I couldn't pay the bill, so they gave me another six months."

"You know what's nice about being old? Everything aches, but you get used to it."

"I think the key to good comedy is timing and the ability to make fun of yourself."

"The older you get, the better you get, unless you're a banana."

"I don't believe in dying. It's bad for my health."

"I'd rather laugh than cry, so I've made it my life's work to find the funny in everything."

"I've always believed that the best way to deal with life's problems is to laugh at them."

"If you want to live a long life, stay away from funerals."

"People who say they sleep like a baby haven't got one."

"If you can fake sincerity, you've got it all in this world."

"Age is just a number, but it's a pretty big number."

"A good laugh is the best medicine for almost anything."

"I've always thought that the best comedy comes from real life."

"I've learned that laughter is the universal language."

"I've always believed that the best defense is a good sense of humor."

"The world would be a better place if more people knew how to laugh at themselves."

"The person who is willing to laugh at themselves will never cease to be amused"

"The wages of sin are death, but after taxes, it's just a tired feeling"

"Laughter is the best medicine, unless you're diabetic, then insulin comes pretty high on the list"

"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook"

"Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive"

"The world would be a better place if more people remembered how to play"