Humor Quotes

"Humor is the last defense against despair and the first sign of wisdom."

"Humor is the spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine of truth go down."

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."

"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it."

"The Polish are not stupid. They are just Poles."

"No self-respecting fish would want to be dropped in a pool where so many teeth are gnashing."

"The best thing about living in Chicago is that you know where you stand—usually in a puddle."

"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."

"A man without a sense of humor is like a day without sunshine."

"Laughter is the best medicine for the soul."

"Humor heals what words cannot."

"Humor is the best medicine."

"Humor is the light we carry through the darkness."

"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."

"I don't think I've ever seen a man walking down the street with a woman who's any taller than he is."

"I don't like food that's too pretty. It's like eating a decoration."

"The best part about being my age is I don't have to pretend I know what's going on."

"The average American is just like everyone else, except different."

"I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope for the best."

"Most of the signs warning of robbers, pickpockets, and thieves are put up by store owners who are doing the robbing."

"A small town is a place where everyone knows your business, and you know everyone's business too."

"The nicest people I know are doing unpleasant things in their spare time."

"I don't mind getting older as long as I don't have to act like a grown-up."

"Humor is the salve for a wounded world."

"Humor is the best medicine for the soul."

"Humor is how we survive difficult times."

"Humor is how we cope with the unbearable truths of existence."

"Humor is healing."

"Find humor in the struggle."

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."