Humor Quotes

"The two things that matter in this world are food and women. I have plenty of the first, so now I'll concentrate on the second."

"I refuse to admit I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate."

"I think that laughter is medicine for the soul."

"Humor is the best medicine for a broken heart."

"The ability to laugh at yourself is a sign of true wisdom."

"I think that every woman is entitled to a middle name she can curse under her breath with real pleasure."

"I've never taken myself too seriously, and I don't expect others to either."

"I really don't think I need blusher, I have these big ears."

"Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about."

"I think laughter is medicine."

"Humor is often the best response to life's difficult moments."

"It's so much easier to be exciting than it is to be boring, yet some men never discover this."

"The most wasted of all days is one in which we have not laughed."

"I discovered that humor is the light that penetrates even the darkest moments."

"I sweat when I sleep. Even when it's cold, I sweat."

"I appreciate a man who can make me laugh."

"I was born with two left feet and the inability to dance."

"One can never be too careful in the selection of adjectives for one's hair."

"Somebody keeps leaving messes on my floor. It's not me."

"His blood type was coffee."

"The truth about Biarritz is that it's a French coastal town."

"I always prefer the bad reviews."

"I've spent most of my professional life attempting to avoid thinking."

"The road to hell is paved with unwatched home videos."

"Another glass of wine would be bad."

"I started at the top and worked my way down."

"I found that humor is a way of surviving difficult truths."

"I'm just a musical prostitute, my dear."

"A pork pie hat and a big cigar."

"I'm in love with my car."