Humor Quotes

"Behind every great man is a great woman, behind her is his wife."

"We are here on Earth to help others. What on Earth the others are here for, I don't know."

"I tried everything. I even tried to like golf, but I was no good at it."

"The secret to staying young is to lie about your age and avoid mirrors."

"I found that laughter was often the best response to life's challenges."

"Humor is the best medicine for a troubled heart."

"Humor helps us survive the unspeakable."

"Life is uncertain, eat dessert first."

"I won't make age an issue of this campaign; I'm not going to exploit it."

"Laughter is healing."

"Humor helps us endure difficult times."

"Humor is often truth wearing a mask."

"Humor is a weapon against despair."

"Humor is the most honest expression of truth."

"I think any man in business would be foolish to monkey around with his wife. When you get home, she's already got the advantage."

"I think laughter is one of the best medicines for the soul."

"I don't care what anybody says about me as long as it isn't true."

"Ability is the art of getting good looking people to hire you."

"We have become a grandmother. The word just doesn't compute."

"I like my money right where I can see it—hanging in my closet."

"I'd marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars."

"Time is a waste of money."

"Any woman can have the body of a 21-year-old. All she has to do is give him a lot of money."

"A gentleman is simply a patient wolf."

"An affair now and then is good for the soul."

"I was serious but not sincere."

"I remain just one thing, and one thing only - and that is a clown."

"Age doesn't diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of pistachio ice cream instead of a double chocolate."

"Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses."

"What a dump."