Humor Quotes

"I have often wished I had time to cultivate modesty, but I am too busy thinking about myself."

"Hollywood is a place where if you don't have talent, you can always just be a producer."

"I don't mind that I'm fat. You still get the same money."

"I speak Spanish to God, Italian to the women, French to the men, and German to my horse."

"The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it's their fault."

"In this world, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant. For years I was smart. I recommend pleasant."

"Humor is the best medicine for the soul."

"I've always believed that laughter and dancing solve more problems than arguments."

"I've always found that humor and dance are two sides of the same coin."

"Thank goodness I'm over the hill. Now I can enjoy the ride down."

"The humility I learned came from standing ovations that lasted two seconds instead of two minutes."

"If you want to see the girl next door, go next door."

"A successful woman is one who can find such a woman to do the housework."

"Humor is the best medicine for sadness."

"I don't trust anybody who doesn't smoke or drink."

"I tried to be good but I found I was not talented at it."

"Never take yourself too seriously; humor is what keeps us human."

"What a dump! What a dump!"

"I often find myself watching my feet, wondering who that strange fellow is down there."

"You can't dance your way out of everything, but you can try."

"Laughter is good medicine for the soul."

"Humor is how we survive; wisdom is how we thrive."

"Humor is a cure for the soul."

"Laughter is the best medicine."

"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take the chance."

"The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby."

"You can't make everyone happy. You're not a pizza."

"I've learned to laugh at myself."

"I think laughter is medicine for the soul."

"I've learned to laugh at my own mistakes."