Humor Quotes

"I suffer from short-term memory loss. It runs in my family. Wait, where was I?"

"Laughter keeps you sane in a chaotic world."

"Cooking teaches patience, but impatience teaches you the most."

"Dadgum, that's the best thing I ever heard!"

"Laughter is the best medicine for a troubled heart."

"I suffer from short-term memory loss. It runs in my family... or at least I think it does."

"I'm sorry, what was I saying?"

"Dory: I can speak whale! Marlin: That's not whale, that's just... noise."

"Ugh, that's the one."

"I speak a little whale myself, 'hellooooo.'"

"I speak whale. Just hum along if you know the words!"

"Braw, brilliant! Now I'm a bear!"

"My mother was worried about me becoming a witch. Turns out she was right."

"Ach, this is madness! Complete madness!"

"I'm lousy at being a lady, but excellent at being myself."

"That was actually pretty cool."

"That's not the way I'd do it."

"School can be dangerous."

"I'm obnoxious. I know."

"Humor can lighten even the darkest moments."

"Humor is oxygen for the soul."

"Laughter is the best medicine for despair."

"You know what I hate? Customers."

"Humor is a weapon. Use it wisely, or not at all."

"A little rat and a tall guy walked into a kitchen together."

"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."

"You're welcome."

"I suffer from short-term memory loss."

"I'm looking for someone, but I forget who."

"I look funny when I swim."