Humor Quotes

"Always acknowledge a fault frankly. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more."

"If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining."

"The human race's greatest invention is not the wheel, but the wheel going round and round."

"Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow."

"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old."

"We are all fools, some of us just hide it better than others."

"The principal difference between dogs and cats is that dogs come when they're called."

"I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting."

"To eat is human, to digest divine."

"I believe we are all fools, just in different ways and to varying degrees."

"Laughter is medicine for the troubled soul."

"There are certain queer times and occasions in this strange mixed affair we call life when a man takes this whole universe for a vast practical joke."

"Human madness is the laughter of the spheres."

"I love the good natured gossip of old women."

"The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow."

"I think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability."

"The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working from the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public."

"A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men."

"Humor is the shield we raise against the unbearable truth."

"Humor is the bridge between despair and hope."

"Humor is the way we acknowledge pain without being consumed by it."

"There is a magnificent vagueness about the age of American women."

"The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow."

"The difference between a natural and an artificial wig is vast indeed."

"The beautiful gain nothing by compliments; they are sufficiently aware of their charms already."

"What is exhilarating in bad taste is the insolence, the violence, the personal will that it asserts."

"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."

"The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated."

"The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow."

"Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside."