Humor Quotes

"Pneumatic bliss."

"You're right, you're right, I'm crazy. But it's not my fault."

"That's what I love about these docs, the way they always help each other out."

"Forgive me, sir, but I'm not quite sure what you mean."

"Poo-tee-weet?"

"You know what the good news is? I'm pooped. But so what? Everybody in the Universe is pooped at one time or another."

"That is a very Earthling thing to do, isn't it?"

"Congratulations. I'm a spastic. I'm spastic."

"When I grow up, I want to be a kamikaze pilot."

"Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them."

"The correct way to walk is directly ahead."

"Some men are born; some achieve greatness; and some have greatness thrust upon them."

"Man is matter. Who else in the family has jowls?"

"You're wasting your time with Orr. He's crazy."

"We are here on Earth to fart around"

"He laughed and laughed and laughed."

"That's funny, that's funny."

"Don't you know that a Catalan is only happy when he is fighting with a Catalan?"

"Some people are born crazy. I mean, they make Catch-22 look rational."

"Clevinger was a dope."

"That's funny, that's very funny, but I don't like the idea at all."

"She was as devoid of wit as a sidewalk."

"That's what I love about you fellows in the service, you're all so noble."

"You don't half look a mess."

"We are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different."

"The only way to survive is to laugh at death."

"That's what I love about the Army - it's got no sense of humor."

"I'm a fiend about consistency."

"The world is full of imbeciles and the only way to survive is to laugh."

"Laugh or cry? Funny or sad? It's all in how you look at things."