Humor Quotes

"How many girls does it take to change a lightbulb? None, that's a man's job"

"I could go to the bazaar and sell my leg"

"There ain't nothing more to write about, and I'm rotten glad of it."

"Blamed if I can see no p'ints about it, that's so."

"The pitifulest thing out is a person that ain't got no more sense than a crab."

"What is the purpose of our life? To be loved by cats, surely."

"An inexpensive way to have your family's poor relations move out of your house."

"Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side?"

"It was a grand and lofty tumbling"

"I be so spiritual and everything, I'm not suppose to notice."

"It don't make no difference how foolish it is."

"It hardly seems the moment for levity."

"It's no crime to fool a body that ain't trying to follow you."

"These kind of people in these little towns never seen a play before."

"That was a real fine way to spend the time."

"A little mouse that had fallen into a kettle of cream."

"I've never been good at listening."

"She was just full of the devil."

"Perhaps I like to hear myself talk."

"I've never been through an invisibility cloak before."

"I'm trying to look serious, like I understand the seriousness of the situation."

"There ain't no harm in it."

"She smiled with a certain malice."

"I'm not a thief. I'm a borrower."

"You're a thief? I hadn't noticed."

"A person who doesn't like cats or dogs can't be all bad, but they're certainly not all good."

"You cannot fix everything with a hammer, but you can try."

"Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon."

"One can never have enough socks"

"Ah yes, yes. Yes, yes, yes"