Humor Quotes

"Everything I do today is either incredibly stupid or absolutely genius."

"I'm taking a very long road trip. It's just on a different planet."

"I may be a sorry case, but I don't write jokes in base thirteen."

"There's nothing worse than a sense of humor based on a misunderstanding."

"That's what I do - I drink and I know things."

"Life, don't talk to me about life"

"I may be a sorry case, but I don't write jokes in base thirteen"

"What's the use of a time machine if you can't have a decent cup of tea?"

"Go stick your head in a pig"

"Everything goes to pot and I blame Aquaman."

"If I die here, it'll be from my own stupidity. Which means I'll deserve it."

"I'm in a Chinese lab. Pretty great for someone who's supposed to be dead."

"I should probably do science."

"I'm the greatest botanist on Mars. That's not really a competitive field right now."

"Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday"

"That's what I do. I drink and I know things."

"I'm the greatest botanist on this planet."

"It's going to be like a Marooned movie, except with a better ending."

"My habitat is so small, I can't even call it a habitat."

"Another day in Paradise."

"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I am afraid the answer is no"

"I'm not getting you a drink"

"Life? Don't talk to me about life"

"Ford! You're turning into a penguin. Stop it"

"I wish I could help you, but I'm completely useless"

"I drink and I know things."

"I have a tender heart."

"The god of tits and wine."

"Humor is survival mechanism."

"What's the worst that can happen? I'm already stranded on Mars."