Humor Quotes

"I've been alone for months and I'm still sane. Mostly."

"Mars tried to kill me. I refused to cooperate."

"I'm going to talk about this Martian dust and its properties because it's the most interesting thing in my life."

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."

"Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?"

"I may be a sorry case, but I don't write jokes in base thirteen."

"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer."

"It's unpleasantly like being drunk. What's so unpleasant about being drunk? You ask a glass of water."

"I love the way humans always assume that aliens are by definition invisible, or extremely tall, or walks funny."

"I'm pretty much f***ed."

"I'm the greatest botanist on Mars."

"I do love waking up to the sight of my own equipment."

"I am the greatest botanist on this planet."

"My life as a botanist just became very complicated."

"I'm the only scientist on Mars, so I get to decide what gets studied."

"Intelligence is just knowing more about why you're unhappy."

"Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?"

"This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays"

"I may be a sorry case, but I don't write jokes in base thirteen"

"Nothing travels faster than light except bad news"

"What does it matter if you're happy?"

"What's this? A salad?"

"Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?"

"I may be a sorry case, but I don't write jokes in base thirteen"

"You're a jerk, Zarniwoop"

"The answer is no."

"I wish you'd just tell me rather than try to engage my enthusiasm."

"I am not a very good subject for a novelist."

"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they go by"

"Would it save you a lot of time if I just went mad now?"