Humor Quotes

"If this works, I'll be the first person to successfully use a potato-based diet to save their life."

"I'm reduced to calling my datebook 'Disco Fever' and staring at the cover."

"I'm gonna make a barter system with myself."

"I'm the best botanist on Mars. Therefore, I'm the best botanist anywhere."

"I am the greatest botanist on Earth and I'm on Mars."

"Everything comes down to the FAP. And I'm not talking about a Frequently Asked Questions list"

"I admit it's fatally dangerous, but I do it anyway because I'm a very genuine idiot"

"I'm a pirate!"

"Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?"

"I may be a sorry case, but I don't write jokes in base thirteen."

"Humor is how we survive the unsurvivable."

"That's what I do, I drink and I know things"

"There's no need to call me 'sir'"

"I'm in a f***ing greenhouse on Mars. I can't imagine a better hole to be stranded in."

"If I die here, it'll be from my own stupidity. Which is embarrassing."

"I am the greatest botanist on Mars. First one, anyway."

"My crewmates think I'm dead. That's going to be an awkward conversation."

"Every choice I make could be the one that kills me. No pressure."

"The best part about being stranded on Mars is the views. The worst part is everything else."

"What doesn't kill you on Mars makes you stronger. Or it just kills you later."

"Would you like a jelly baby?"

"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer"

"I've never met anyone who understood the number six"

"Most of the time, I had no idea what I was doing."

"I'm pretty much f***ed."

"I'm in a Hab designed to support 4 people, but I'm alone. At least that means there's more air for me. Definitely not the point."

"Thank God we're not in one of those action movies where they tell you the plan right away."

"I'll be honest, space travel is not very fun. It's pretty much the worst."

"If I die here, people will write books about me. And they probably won't be very nice books."

"The best thing about being stranded on Mars is the quiet. The worst thing is everything else."