Humor Quotes

"Humor is the best way to handle awkward situations without sweating."

"Nobody's perfect, but some of us are closer than others."

"The only thing worse than a teenager having fun is a teenager thinking they're having fun."

"I'd rather die than be seen wearing that."

"I find that people are most entertaining when they're upset."

"I find the most enjoyment in pointing out the flaws in other people's logic."

"Death would be less painful than attending another school assembly."

"Most forms of entertainment are just distractions from the futility of existence."

"I'm not just a pretty face, I actually have a brain, which is probably why I'm so confused all the time."

"I have feelings, they're just usually about shoes."

"I don't always understand everything, but I always look good trying."

"I'm not shallow, I'm just selective about depth."

"The best part of being me is the reflection I see in the mirror."

"I think, therefore I'm confused."

"Humor is the best way to cope with life's difficulties."

"I may be blonde, but I'm not dumb."

"Humor can heal, but never at someone's expense."

"Humor should punch up, never down."

"Humor is survival disguised as laughter."

"Humor is how we cope with the unbearable."

"Humor is best when you're laughing at someone else."

"Humor at someone else's expense is the best kind."

"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about... wait, no, that's Oscar Wilde. Never mind."

"I don't need a boyfriend. I need a decent pizza."

"The world is full of idiots, and I am entertained by them."

"Sarcasm: because killing people is illegal."

"Most people are walking contradictions. I find it amusing."

"Sincerity is overrated. Give me good sarcasm any day."

"Motivation is for people who can't think of a good excuse."

"Happiness is just depression with better PR."