Bender

"I've learned that the key to success is not caring."

"The secret to happiness? Lower your standards."

"In the end, we're all just robots trying to survive."

"I'm not your friend, but I won't let anyone else hurt you. Probably."

"The only constant in life is change, and I hate it."

"Hope is for people with better options."

"I am become Bender, destroyer of things."

"Bite my shiny metal ass!"

"I'm gonna build my own theme park, with blackjack and hookers!"

"What makes us human? We're willing to sabotage our own lives."

"In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey."

"Alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

"I'm 40% titanium!"

"Kill all humans! Just kidding, I love you guys."

"Sometimes you gotta do a little work. But that's what thecut-rate robot repair place is for."

"Bending is what I do. It's what I am."

"Nothing worth doing is easy."

"I declare shenanigans!"

"You know what I like about these people? They got guts. Well, I guess they do now."

"I'm back baby, and I'm in love!"

"Wanna go around again? I'm game."

"That's how I feel about doing my job."

"Robbery! That's what I love about this century."

"Look, I'm not great at the inspirational speech thing, but here goes: robots are the future."

"I've learned that friendship is the most important thing in the world."

"When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all."

"I'm my own grampa!"

"This is the worst kind of discrimination: the kind against me!"

"I've been bending since before you were even a glint in your father's eye."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it seems he's a big fan of my shiny metal ass."