Chandler Bing

"The secret to friendship is loyalty. And pretending you don't notice their annoying habits."

"Family is messy. Friendship is chosen. I prefer chosen chaos."

"Happiness is a journey, not a destination. I'm lost on the journey."

"Success is subjective. By my standards, just getting out of bed is successful."

"Love is patient and kind. I'm neither."

"Wisdom is learning from your mistakes. I keep making new ones."

"Life happens while you're making other plans. And I'm usually screwing up those plans."

"Hope is the thing with feathers. I'm more of a penguin guy—they can't fly either."

"Courage isn't the absence of fear. It's making jokes about your fear."

"Change is inevitable. Like my employment status."

"Education enlightens the mind. My mind is confused about basic things."

"The truth will set you free. But first it'll confuse you."

"Freedom is being yourself. I'm usually being someone else's version of myself."

"Peace is an internal state. Mine is constantly at war with itself."

"Nature teaches us to slow down. I speed up and make witty remarks."

"Art reflects life. My life is comedic tragedy."

"Science is fascinating. My brain finds science baffling."

"Music soothes the soul. Unless you have to listen to me sing."

"Faith sustains us through difficulty. I sustain myself through sarcasm."

"Leadership requires vision. I can barely see my own future."

"Work-life balance is essential. I balance work with trying to avoid commitment."

"Dreams drive us forward. Mine usually drive me into walls."

"Beauty fades, but humor is forever. Hopefully."

"Death is the only certainty. Besides awkwardness."

"Perseverance means never giving up. I give up regularly but come back."

"Gratitude transforms perspective. Mine is still stuck in sarcasm mode."

"Creativity comes from taking risks. I prefer safe jokes."

"Justice demands courage. I demand coffee."

"Patience builds character. My character is still under construction."

"Kindness boomerangs. So does my sarcasm, apparently."