Edna Krabappel

"Inspiration usually comes in a bottle."

"Relationships are just opportunities for mutual disappointment."

"Solitude beats company nine times out of ten."

"I've been married, divorced, and everything in between - it's all overrated."

"The saddest part of my job is realizing that education doesn't matter."

"Wisdom is knowing that you know nothing, and not caring."

"Success at work means having a desk and a locked drawer."

"My family life makes teaching look like a vacation."

"The only hope I have is that 3 o'clock comes soon."

"It takes courage to show up every day to a job you hate."

"Change is something that happens to you, not with you."

"I've learned that knowledge can hurt as much as ignorance."

"Time doesn't heal all wounds - it just makes you forget why they mattered."

"The truest thing I know is that everyone's lying."

"Freedom is a myth we believe in until bills arrive."

"Peace is what comes after resignation."

"The only natural thing left in my life is my bar tab."

"Art, like hope, is something other people do."

"Science can't explain why I keep making the same mistakes."

"Music is nice, but a quiet bar is nicer."

"I'd have more faith if I'd seen any evidence of it."

"A good leader knows when to delegate their problems."

"Work is what you do to pay for the drinks that make work bearable."

"My dreams died somewhere between college and mortgage payments."

"Laughter is the sound of giving up gracefully."

"Beauty standards were invented by people prettier than me."

"Death would be a nice break from this job."

"I persist because quitting would require energy I don't have."

"I'm grateful for nothing, which makes disappointment easier."

"Creativity requires inspiration, which I drink away daily."