Edna Krabappel

"Justice is blind, which explains why it's never worked."

"Patience is a virtue meant for people richer than teachers."

"Kindness gets you nowhere fast in this world."

"True strength is admitting you need a drink."

"I'm not afraid of death - I'm afraid of sobriety."

"Power corrupts, but lack of power is worse."

"Money would solve most of my problems, which is depressing."

"Health is overrated when you're this unhappy."

"Adventure sounds exhausting to someone my age."

"Imagination is a betrayal - it shows you what could be."

"Technology just enables people to disappoint you faster."

"History proves we never learn anything."

"Philosophy is comfortable lying to yourself with big words."

"Literature promised me life wouldn't be this dull."

"Politics is why I drink during my lunch break."

"War, peace, whatever - humans are terrible either way."

"Motivation is for people who haven't stopped trying yet."

"The most inspiring moment of my day is when the bell rings."

"Relationships are proof that God has a sense of humor."

"Solitude is the only relationship worth having."

"I've been teaching long enough to know that these things happen."

"Another day, another dollar. Literally."

"You know what really grinds my gears? Grading papers."

"Love is just a chemical reaction designed to make us breed."

"I need a drink. Or twelve."

"These children are slowly killing me."

"Why do I even bother? They won't remember any of this anyway."

"Teaching: the profession where you're never appreciated and always exhausted."

"The only thing worse than a bad student is a parent defending that student."

"Life's a grind, and I'm stuck on the wheel."