Edna Krabappel

"Patience is a virtue I've perfected through sheer necessity."

"Kindness is great, but it won't raise test scores."

"Strength comes from knowing when to stop caring."

"Fear is what I feel every morning before school starts."

"Power corrupts, but lack of power is more frustrating."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy alcohol."

"Health is something I traded for this job."

"Adventure is what happens when you leave Springfield."

"Imagination is wasted on a curriculum."

"Technology is just another way for kids to avoid learning."

"History repeats itself. Like my life."

"Philosophy would be nice if I had time to think about it."

"Literature is an escape. I prefer drinking."

"Politics in education is as bad as politics everywhere."

"War is what teaching feels like."

"Motivation comes from a paycheck twice a month."

"Inspiration? I'll let you know if I ever find it."

"Relationships are complicated. Unlike alcohol—that's simple."

"Solitude is my favorite subject."

"Another spelling test, another day of disappointment."

"These test scores are lower than my expectations, and those were already rock bottom."

"Ralph Wiggum is the living proof that not everyone can succeed."

"I've seen worse essays, but not by much."

"Friendship among teachers? We're all too miserable to bond."

"The only thing my family gives me is more reasons to drink."

"Courage is calling in sick, even though there's nothing wrong with you."

"Change usually means more work, less pay."

"Knowledge is something these kids actively resist."

"Time is my enemy. Clocks are my enemies. These kids are my enemies."

"The truth about education is nobody cares about the truth."