Homer Simpson

"I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, save me Superman"

"Operator! Give me the number for 911"

"The three little words: I don't know"

"Teamwork! That's the power of teamwork"

"I want to share something with you: the real thing that scares me is being left alone"

"I'm not stupid, I'm just underutilized"

"Woo-hoo! One more beer!"

"The only thing more important than my family is beer"

"I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors before he invented the light bulb"

"Thank you for the extra diddly-dum experience"

"Family is where you make your home"

"I love my family more than I love donuts"

"Every time I learn something new it pushes some old stuff out of my brain"

"I have to face facts, and the facts are that I'm poor"

"The sun isn't shining on me, it's shining on me"

"Are you trying to kill me?"

"I like my pork chops thick, juicy, and bloody"

"You're not going to find a better man than me"

"I believe in three things: you can't fake competence, effort is for people who don't know how to do anything, and the future's so bright I gotta wear shades"

"I've worked hard to become the lazy slob I am today"

"There are 10 million things that can kill you. That's what I have nightmares about"

"I'm an average man with an average life"

"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is: never try"

"I'm in my own little world, but it's okay, they know me here"

"Stupid Flanders!"

"A gun is not a weapon, Marge. It's a tool. Like a butcher's knife or a gun"

"This is the greatest moment of my life"

"I have a gun, and a gun and a gun"

"Save me Jebus!"

"Marge, I just realized I have an app for that"