"Dreams are just thoughts you have when you're sleeping and broke."Dreams
"I respect anyone who doesn't respect rules."Philosophy
"Life's too short to be responsible."Life
"I'm basically a self-made man... who made bad choices."Humor
"Health is wealth, but I prefer actual wealth."Health
"I once tried to start a business. It failed. Twice."Work
"Patience is overrated when you want something now."Patience
"Beauty fades, but stupidity is forever."Beauty
"I'm the kind of guy who learns from his mistakes... the third time."Wisdom
"Money comes and goes. Mostly goes."Money
"I've never let the law stop me before."Freedom
"Relationships are complicated. Money is more complicated."Relationships
"I believe in living in the moment... usually a bad moment."Philosophy
"Adventure is just another word for terrible decision-making."Adventure
"I once tried to be responsible. Hated it."Humor
"Art is subjective, but my choices are just objectively bad."Art
"I've got big dreams and zero follow-through."Dreams
"Leadership means never admitting you're wrong."Leadership
"I respect the hustle, even if I can't maintain it."Work
"Life's a gamble, and I always bet wrong."Life
"The secret to happiness is lowering your expectations."Happiness
"I'm basically a motivational speaker for bad ideas."Motivation
"Strength is knowing when to quit."Strength
"I've been fired more times than I've been hired."Work
"Hope is the last thing to go. Right after my credit."Hope
"I'm a man of principle... no principles, but I'm a man."Humor
"Technology is cool, but analog bankruptcy is cooler."Technology
"History doesn't repeat itself, but I do the same mistakes."History
"I once read a book. It was a menu."Education
"Peace is overrated. Chaos is my natural state."Peace