Krusty the Clown

"Courage is doing the show even when your material stinks."

"Change is bad for business, but it happens anyway."

"Education? I learned everything from the school of hard knocks and network TV."

"Knowledge is power, but laughter is money."

"Time flies when you're having fun and ripping people off."

"The truth? The truth is whatever sells tickets."

"Freedom is the right to bomb in front of a live audience."

"Peace is overrated. Chaos is where the laughs are."

"Nature? That's outside. I don't go outside."

"Art is a clown with a funny nose and deep pockets."

"Science? I leave that to the lab coat guys."

"Music to my ears is the sound of ka-ching!"

"Faith? I got faith in myself and my accountant."

"Leadership means making the tough decisions, like which scotch to drink."

"Work hard, play harder, and always keep the money."

"Dreams are what happen when you fall asleep counting your money."

"Humor is the best medicine, second only to actual medicine and money."

"Beauty is a well-timed punchline and a packed house."

"Death? Don't even think about it, it's terrible for the ratings."

"Perseverance is getting back on stage after bombing three nights in a row."

"Gratitude? I'm grateful for every sucker who buys a ticket."

"Creativity is stealing a joke and making it your own."

"Justice? Justice is what I say it is in my theater."

"Patience is not my strong suit, and I don't plan to work on it."

"Kindness is for people who can't afford a good lawyer."

"Strength comes from knowing your material cold."

"Fear keeps you sharp, especially the fear of bankruptcy."

"Power is making people laugh whether they want to or not."

"Money makes the world go 'round, and I'm trying to make it spin faster."

"Health is important, but show business is more important."