Krusty the Clown

"Relationships are great until someone asks you for money!"

"Solitude is just time to count your money in peace!"

"The audience is everything - they're the ones with the wallets!"

"Never work for free - that's a good rule for life!"

"Success is spelled M-O-N-E-Y, kid!"

"I don't do anything without a contract, a lawyer, and an upfront payment!"

"The best jokes are the ones that sell merchandise!"

"Life's a stage, and I'm the main act!"

"Love makes the world go round, but money makes it spin faster!"

"You want wisdom? Buy my book - it'll cost you, but it's worth it!"

"Happiness is getting what you want when you want it!"

"The real secret to success is knowing when to fold 'em and move on!"

"Friends are great, but business partners are better!"

"Family is important - especially when they're in the will!"

"Hope is hoping your ratings don't tank this week!"

"Courage is doing the same joke even when you know it bombed last time!"

"Change is a four-letter word - along with most of my business decisions!"

"Education is overrated - I never finished clown college!"

"Knowledge is power, but money is electricity!"

"Time is money, so don't waste mine!"

"The truth is I'll say anything if you pay me enough!"

"Freedom means the freedom to pursue happiness - and profit!"

"Peace of mind comes from a healthy bank account!"

"Art is whatever gets laughs and sells tickets!"

"Faith in yourself is fine, but faith in your accountant is essential!"

"A real leader gets others to do the work while he takes the credit!"

"Work is less fun than play, but the money's better!"

"Dreams are like hopes - nice until the bills come due!"

"Beauty fades, but a good bank account is forever!"

"Death and taxes - I try to avoid both!"