Krusty the Clown

"I've been through more comebacks than Jackie Robinson!"

"The secret to success is knowing who to step on to get there!"

"I love my fans, but their money is what I really love!"

"You can't buy talent, but you can hire it!"

"The world needs more laughter and fewer serious people!"

"I'm a self-made man, with a little help from my tailor!"

"You gotta love what you do, or at least pretend to!"

"Life's a stage, and I'm always on!"

"I've faced adversity and came out laughing!"

"The key to happiness is a good punchline and better insurance!"

"You want wisdom? Here it is: always leave them wanting more!"

"I've built an empire on pratfalls and wisecracks!"

"The audience is everything, and I am everything to the audience!"

"You can't kill the Krusty, baby!"

"Hey hey! Remember, kid, money doesn't grow on trees - it grows in my wallet!"

"Life's too short to worry about the small stuff. Just laugh it off!"

"You want the secret to success? Show up, do the act, cash the check!"

"I've been in this business for forty years, and I'll tell you - timing is everything!"

"Love is for suckers, kid. Get yourself a good agent instead!"

"Happiness is a warm audience and an even warmer paycheck!"

"You gotta have courage to bomb in front of a live audience and come back the next week!"

"They say laughter is the best medicine, and boy, do I charge for it!"

"Change is good, unless it affects my bottom line!"

"Never trust a man without a sense of humor - he's probably a cop!"

"The key to friendship is never lending money to your friends!"

"My family means everything to me - especially at tax time!"

"Hope springs eternal, but so do my debts!"

"Freedom means the freedom to make more money!"

"Peace is nice, but not as nice as a sold-out show!"

"Nature? I'm more of an indoors guy myself!"