Krusty the Clown

"I didn't get where I am by being nice to people!"

"A clown's job is to make people laugh, and that's the most important job there is!"

"You want wisdom? Here's wisdom: don't eat the prop food!"

"I've made more comebacks than a bad penny!"

"Loyalty is everything in this business, well, almost everything!"

"The secret to success is showing up, preferably on time!"

"I love my work more than I love my kids, probably!"

"You can't fake being funny; you either got it or you don't!"

"Time is money, so don't waste my time!"

"I've been through ups and downs, but mostly ups!"

"The audience is always right, except when they're wrong about me!"

"Laughter is the best medicine, and I'm the best pharmacist!"

"You gotta have thick skin in this business, or a good plastic surgeon!"

"Dreams are nice, but money is better!"

"I've been a star for so long, I don't remember being anything else!"

"The Krusty brand means quality and entertainment!"

"You want to know the secret of comedy? Timing! Always timing!"

"I love making people smile, as long as they're buying my products!"

"Never trust a partner, but always trust your accountant's accountant!"

"Show business is a beautiful thing, if you survive it!"

"I've faced bankruptcy three times and I'm still here!"

"The world needs laughter, and I'm the man to provide it!"

"You can't buy experience, but you can certainly earn it!"

"Failure is just success wearing a different makeup!"

"I've never met a bad cigar or a bad business deal!"

"Comedy is a numbers game, and I'm winning!"

"The key to longevity is reinvention and good lawyers!"

"I'm a legend in my own mind, and that's all that matters!"

"You gotta keep moving forward or you'll be forgotten!"

"Entertainment is my life, my love, my everything!"