Krusty the Clown

"Art is whatever people pay for, kid!"

"Science? That's for nerds. Showbiz is the real science!"

"Music to my ears is the sound of applause and cash registers!"

"Faith? I have faith in one thing - my agent's ability to negotiate!"

"A good leader knows how to schmooze with the right people!"

"Work hard, work smart, or better yet - work me and split the profits!"

"My dreams all come true when the money is real!"

"Beauty is in the eye of the audience - and in my checking account!"

"Death? I'm not thinking about that until after the Nielsen ratings close!"

"Keep at it, kid. Perseverance and a good PR team can solve anything!"

"I'm grateful for three things: money, show business, and money!"

"Creativity is just knowing how to sell the old stuff as something new!"

"Justice? That's what lawyers are for!"

"Patience is waiting for the check to clear!"

"Kindness is nice, but profit margins are nicer!"

"Strength comes from knowing you've got a good contract!"

"Fear? The only thing I fear is going broke!"

"Power is the ability to say no to a bad gig and still get paid!"

"Money talks, and let me tell you, it says wonderful things!"

"Health insurance? That's what my money's for!"

"Adventure is nice when you're getting paid for it!"

"Imagination is fine, but I prefer cold, hard reality - the reality of money!"

"Technology? I just need a microphone and a spotlight!"

"History shows that clowns always come out on top!"

"Philosophy is just thinking about why you don't have enough money!"

"Literature? That's what I read - the fine print on my contracts!"

"Politics - it's just show business for ugly people!"

"War? That's what happens when you don't have a good agent to negotiate peace!"

"Stay motivated, kid - there's money to be made out there!"

"Inspiration comes from knowing you're gonna get paid!"