Mort Goldman

"Truth is often stranger than fiction, and way less fun."

"Freedom requires responsibility, which is why I avoid both."

"Courage is being scared but doing it anyway... or just being oblivious."

"Change is the only constant, except for my inability to change."

"Learning never stops, unfortunately."

"The more you know, the more you realize you don't know anything."

"Time is money, and I'm bankrupt on both."

"The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable."

"Freedom is overrated; responsibility is even worse."

"Inner peace comes from accepting that everything is out of control."

"Nature doesn't care about your feelings or your allergies."

"Art is whatever you can get away with calling art."

"Science is just a bunch of theories that might be wrong tomorrow."

"Music soothes the savage breast, if you like that sort of thing."

"Faith is wonderful until you need actual evidence."

"A leader is someone people follow, usually off a cliff."

"Work is what you do to avoid your real problems."

"Dreams are free, but the therapy to deal with them costs money."

"Laughter is the best medicine, except for actual medicine."

"Beauty fades, but stupidity is forever."

"Death is nothing to fear; taxes are worse."

"Never give up, except when it's clearly the right move."

"Be grateful for what you have before you lose it."

"Creativity is just combining things in new ways."

"Justice is blind, which explains a lot about the legal system."

"Patience is a virtue I'm still working on."

"Being kind costs nothing, but people expect it anyway."

"Strength comes from within, or so I keep telling myself."

"Fear keeps you safe, or just anxious."

"Power without wisdom is just destruction with better intentions."