Mr. Burns

"Imagination is a privilege of the rich."

"Inspiration comes from watching others suffer."

"Solitude allows me to plot in peace."

"Creativity serves only monetary pursuits."

"I've never felt genuine gratitude in my life."

"The pursuit of happiness is a fool's errand."

"Family is merely an obstacle to overcome."

"Hope is a luxury I've never indulged in."

"Change is acceptable only if it benefits me."

"Freedom means freedom to exploit."

"Persistence in evil is my greatest achievement."

"I am not a vegetarian, yet I have a distinct lack of humanity."

"The world is divided into the powerful and the powerless."

"Kindness is a sign of weakness that I've extinguished."

"I'll fire whoever suggests I've mellowed with age."

"The only truth worth knowing is my net worth."

"Wisdom comes from defeating your enemies."

"I've spent billions ensuring my legacy of greed."

"Love is a burden I've successfully avoided."

"Smithers, have the happiness squad destroy fun."

"I shall create my own religion based on money."

"The pursuit of justice is for those with free time."

"I've made patience my enemy and cruelty my friend."

"Forgiveness is a weakness I've engineered out of myself."

"I measure my success in the suffering of others."

"The secret to happiness is not giving a damn."

"I've built my empire on the broken dreams of others."

"True power is making others believe they're free."

"I would sell my soul, but the devil owes me money."

"Mortality is the only thing that truly scares me."