Mr. Burns

"Tradition is merely the excuse of the weak."

"My greatest achievement is my contempt for others."

"Wisdom comes from studying how to dominate."

"The strong survive; the rest are irrelevant."

"I buy happiness, though it rarely stays purchased."

"Success is measured in power over lesser beings."

"Even my leisure time generates profit."

"I'm feeling generous today. Release the hounds."

"Why would anyone do anything for anyone else? Money is the only true motivator."

"Smithers, release the mechanical hounds."

"A lifetime of working hard has taught me nothing."

"I would be happy to offer my life savings to hear one more kind word from you."

"Old money is the best kind of money. New money tries too hard."

"Bah! I don't need friends. I have money."

"The old wheel of fortune keeps on turning. Soon you'll have riches and fame."

"I didn't become a billionaire by signing checks."

"Careful with that cretin, Smithers. He may have a contagious disease."

"At last, I've become the man I always wanted to be... a villain."

"Release the dogs. Or the bees. Or the dogs with bees in their mouths."

"I've decided to grant amnesty to all illegal immigrants. It's time to let bygones be bygones."

"Spare me your whining, boy. The world doesn't owe you a living."

"Knowledge? I've had enough of that already."

"Time to make the donuts. I mean, time to count my money."

"Love is a four-letter word, and I'm a big fan of four-letter words."

"Happiness is just a warm gun... I mean, a warm fortune."

"I've always found that hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?"

"Your family is a burden on your success. Forget about them."

"Every decision I make is designed to maximize my profit margins."

"Courage? That's what fools call stupidity."

"Change is inevitable, but I'll do my best to prevent it."