Mr. Burns

"Freedom is an illusion the poor comfort themselves with."

"Happiness? That's for peasants."

"Love is for the working class."

"Hope is just another name for delusion."

"Courage without wealth is foolishness."

"Change is acceptable only if I profit from it."

"Perseverance in pursuit of power is the only virtue."

"Gratitude is wasted on people I've already paid."

"Creativity is a tool for making money, nothing more."

"Justice? I'll settle for legality."

"Health is important only insofar as it extends my rule."

"Adventure is what happens to the unprepared."

"Imagination is useful in manipulation."

"Philosophy is for those who can't afford stocks."

"Literature? Only if it documents my legacy."

"Politics is where money buys truth."

"Inspiration comes from the suffering of others."

"Relationships are transactions, nothing more."

"Solitude with money is paradise."

"I didn't get rich by being ethical."

"The meek shall inherit nothing while I'm alive."

"My legacy will be power, not memories."

"Why build a better mousetrap when you can own the mice?"

"Every problem can be solved with money and intimidation."

"Sentiment is the cancer of capitalism."

"I have no use for honest competition."

"The future belongs to those who seize it with ruthlessness."

"Loyalty can be purchased; friendship cannot be trusted."

"Excellence is my baseline expectation."

"I don't lose sleep over my enemies; I have them removed."