Mr. Burns

"Education is a waste of time. What you need is experience... in being evil."

"I have no hope for humanity. Nor should you."

"Freedom is just another word for 'my ability to do whatever I want.'"

"Nature is lovely, but only as long as it doesn't interfere with my business."

"Art is a waste of money. Beauty is in the bottom line."

"Science exists to serve my interests, nothing more."

"Music? Only if it's the sound of coins dropping into my vault."

"Faith is for people who lack the courage to seize what they want."

"A true leader never shares the credit, only the blame."

"Work is a necessary evil I force upon others."

"My dreams come true because I make them happen through ruthlessness."

"Humor is a sign of a weak mind. I rarely indulge in laughter."

"Beauty fades, but power and money are eternal."

"Death is something that happens to other people, preferably my enemies."

"Perseverance in the pursuit of wealth knows no bounds."

"Gratitude is a weakness I simply cannot afford."

"Creativity is useful only if it generates profit."

"Justice is whatever serves my interests at any given moment."

"Patience is a virtue, but action is a strategy."

"Kindness is a luxury item I've never purchased."

"Strength comes from having others do your bidding."

"Fear keeps people obedient. I am its architect."

"Power corrupts, and absolute power is absolutely delicious."

"Money is the root of all happiness, and I am deeply happy."

"Health is just a means to enjoying your wealth longer."

"Adventure is for young fools without responsibilities."

"Imagination is what poor people use instead of actual riches."

"Technology should be used to expand my empire and crush my rivals."

"History is written by the wealthy, and I am its author."

"Philosophy is interesting only when it justifies my actions."