Mr. Burns

"Literature is a poor substitute for reading profit reports."

"Politics is simply a game with higher stakes and better rewards."

"War is good for business, and business is my only interest."

"Motivation comes in the form of cold, hard cash."

"Inspiration strikes when counting your money at midnight."

"Relationships are transactions. Never forget the bottom line."

"Solitude is golden only when you're alone with your fortune."

"I believe in nothing except the accumulation of wealth."

"The pursuit of happiness is the pursuit of money. Nothing more."

"Life is a zero-sum game, and I intend to win."

"Wisdom comes with age and unlimited resources."

"Success requires stepping on the heads of others."

"Friends are simply expensive liabilities."

"Family matters only as heirs or as bargaining chips."

"Hope is a commodity I don't trade in."

"Courage is knowing you're richer than anyone who might oppose you."

"Change is our enemy. Stagnation preserves our dominance."

"Education creates dangerous ideas. Keep the masses ignorant."

"Knowledge is power, but power is better."

"Time is money, so I steal both whenever possible."

"Truth is whatever I say it is."

"Freedom is the ability to exploit without consequence."

"Peace is profitable only when you control it."

"Nature exists to be dominated, not admired."

"Art is only valuable if a wealthy collector says so."

"Science should develop weapons, not cures."

"The best melodies are those sung by my workers in the nuclear plant."

"Faith is for peasants. I have stocks."

"A leader is one who serves only himself."

"Work is what you do. Idleness is what I do."