Stewie Griffin

"Truth is whatever I say it is. Perception is reality, baby."

"Freedom is meaningless unless you're free to conquer others."

"Strength isn't physical. It's the ability to manipulate those around you."

"Fear is a tool. I use it. I don't experience it."

"Adventure is fine, but only if it leads to world domination."

"Perseverance is my greatest quality. I've been plotting since the womb."

"Gratitude is a waste of emotional energy better spent on revenge."

"Creativity is just controlled chaos with a purpose."

"Justice is a concept invented by the weak to protect themselves from people like me."

"Kindness is a sign of weakness. Cruelty shows strength."

"Beauty means nothing without power to back it up."

"Work? I don't work. I command, and others labor."

"Health is important. Can't dominate the world from a hospital bed."

"Imagination is my only limit, and I've got plenty of imagination."

"History will remember me as a genius, not a criminal."

"Literature? Only if it's a biography of my achievements."

"Politics is just organized evil. I respect that."

"War is poetry written in blood and strategic brilliance."

"Motivation is simple: imagine everyone's failure and work backwards from your success."

"Inspiration comes from knowing you're smarter than everyone else."

"Relationships are transactions. Know your leverage."

"Solitude gives me time to plot without interference from idiots."

"Life is a game, and I'm winning. Obviously."

"I didn't choose the villainous life. The villainous life chose me."

"Happiness is achieved through the suffering of your enemies."

"Another day, another elaborate scheme. Such is the burden of genius."

"I've conquered more in my diapers than you will in a lifetime."

"The pen is mightier than the sword, but my plan is mightiest of all."

"Comedy is tragedy plus time. I'll use both as weapons."

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then obliterate them."