Tom Haverford

"Success isn't final, failure isn't fatal - only my opinion matters."

"If you're not willing to take risks, you'll never succeed."

"I believe in karma, and I'm very good at creating positive karma."

"The future is bright, especially if you're wearing sunglasses."

"I don't do anything halfway - I go full Tom."

"Life is too short to waste it on boring things."

"Friendship is about finding people who think you're awesome."

"I believe in second chances, especially for myself."

"The only limit is imagination - mine is limitless."

"I'm not arrogant, I'm just right."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I have great eyes."

"Power comes from believing in yourself above all else."

"I've learned that money can't buy everything, but it buys most things."

"Health is important, but looking healthy is more important."

"Every day is an adventure if you're awesome enough."

"Imagination is more important than knowledge, because I imagine I know everything."

"Technology will eventually replace all of us, but I'll still be cool."

"History shows that I would have been great in any era."

"Philosophy is just thinking about things I already know."

"Music is the one language I speak fluently, along with awesomeness."

"Faith in yourself is the most important faith of all."

"Leadership is easy when everyone wants to follow you."

"Work is what you do when you can't think of anything fun."

"Dreams are just visions of my future awesomeness."

"Humor is the best medicine, unless you have a real disease."

"Beauty and brains - I have both in abundance."

"I'm not just a government employee, I'm a visionary"

"Treat yo'self"

"I'm going to get myself into politics. I'm going to be President of the United States"

"Money is power, and I love power"