30 Rock

"The truth will set you free, but first it will make you uncomfortable."

"Failure is just success in slow motion."

"Success is 10% inspiration and 90% not giving up."

"Humor is the best medicine, unless you have a bacterial infection."

"Dreams are free, but the path to them costs everything."

"Hope is believing that things will work out when everything points to them not working out."

"The only constant in life is change, and my shoe size."

"Peace is not the absence of conflict, it's how you handle it."

"Inspiration strikes when you're ready to be struck."

"Motivation comes from within, but also from spite."

"Solitude is just loneliness with better marketing."

"The best relationships are the ones where you're both trying and both failing."

"Every problem has a solution if you're willing to throw enough money at it."

"Kindness is free, but I usually charge for it."

"Patience is a virtue I don't have time for."

"Justice is blind, but I've got 20/20 vision."

"Science is just making up theories until one sticks."

"Art is whatever you want it to be, especially if you're selling it."

"Music is the universal language that even dogs don't understand."

"History repeats itself because people don't pay attention."

"Technology is great until it breaks, then it's useless."

"Imagination is more important than knowledge, because knowledge is limited."

"Adventures are just mistakes that turned out well."

"Health is the most important wealth you can have."

"Power is nothing without the love of people around you."

"Fear is just your mind playing tricks on you. Ignore it and punch it."

"Strength is not about muscles, it's about the will to keep going."

"Death is just like sleeping, except you never wake up and your family cries a lot."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but my eyes are perfect."

"Work hard, play hard, sleep harder."