30 Rock

"The truth shall set you free, unless the truth is embarrassing, then lie."

"Time moves fast when you're being fabulous."

"Knowledge is power, but looking good is also pretty powerful."

"Education makes you smart, but experience makes you interesting."

"Change is the only constant, except for my awesomeness."

"Courage is doing something scared, but making it look confident."

"The path to wisdom is paved with really good life choices and a few very bad ones."

"Life is a performance, and you're always on stage."

"Work hard and be yourself, unless yourself isn't working, then be someone else."

"The only thing better than being talked about is being talked about positively."

"Success is waking up and being glad you're you."

"Family dinners are where everyone takes turns reminding you of your failures."

"Friendship is a two-way street, but I prefer cul-de-sacs that lead to my house."

"Love is like acting - it's all about commitment and making it believable."

"If you have a problem, don't solve it - make it bigger and more dramatic."

"The secret to happiness is just not caring what anyone thinks, while secretly caring tremendously."

"I've decided to change my life and become more like myself."

"Solitude is nice, but only if there's someone to notice how well you're handling it."

"Relationships are complicated, which is why I prefer keeping things simple."

"Inspiration comes from within, usually from thinking about yourself."

"Motivation is what you feel when you're pursuing something amazing."

"War would be terrible if I had to fight in it, but watching it as drama is interesting."

"Politics doesn't matter as long as you look good."

"Literature is books, which I sometimes read about instead of reading."

"Philosophy is just thinking about stuff too hard."

"History is something old people care about."

"Technology is amazing, especially when you're in all the photos."

"Imagination is what separates the boring people from me."

"Adventure is just another word for trying something new that might make a good story."

"Health is important, but being skinny is more important."