30 Rock

"Health is important only insofar as it allows me to work more."

"Justice is whatever the person with the most power says it is."

"Creativity must always serve a practical purpose or it's worthless."

"The only thing I'm grateful for is a well-executed plan."

"Solitude is where I do my best thinking about how to beat you."

"Inspiration comes from seeing the weakness in your competitors."

"War is simply commerce by other means. Choose your battles accordingly."

"Politics is just business with more handshakes and fewer regulations."

"History is written by the winners. I intend to win."

"Technology is the future, but only if it increases efficiency."

"Fear is useful. It keeps people sharp and obedient."

"Real strength is knowing exactly how much you can get away with."

"Kindness is fine in moderation, preferably in other people."

"Patience is a virtue only for those without authority to act."

"Death is merely an exit strategy from a failed entity."

"Beauty fades. Power endures. Choose wisely."

"Dreams are wonderful until you realize they interfere with profit."

"Work is not something to be balanced. It is the balance."

"A true leader never shows weakness, only calculated emotion."

"Faith in God is fine, but faith in quarterly growth is better."

"I don't listen to music. I listen to earnings reports."

"Science is useful only insofar as it contributes to the bottom line."

"Art is important, but profit margins are more important."

"Peace is the period between two wars where you consolidate power."

"Freedom is just another word for owning the right assets."

"Time is money, and I don't waste either."

"I respect anyone who can look me in the eye and lie convincingly."

"The market rewards the bold and punishes the weak. Nature's way."

"I've always believed that education is the key to opening doors—then I had them installed."

"Life taught me that sentimentality is expensive and rarely profitable."