30 Rock

"Wisdom is knowing what you don't know and charging someone else for it."

"Success is 1% inspiration and 99% not getting caught."

"The only constant in life is that everything changes and nothing improves."

"Love is a chemical reaction your brain uses to justify bad decisions."

"I believe in working smarter, not harder. Ideally, not working at all."

"Solitude is nice until you realize you're alone with your thoughts."

"The problem with relationships is they require other people."

"Inspiration is just motivation that found a good marketing team."

"Motivation is temporary. Like most feelings."

"War is what happens when politics gets tired of talking."

"Politics is show business for ugly people."

"Literature is life, except with better dialogue."

"Philosophy is just educated guessing about things nobody can prove."

"History repeats itself because nobody was paying attention the first time."

"Technology makes life easier and human relationships harder."

"Imagination is what separates us from the animals. And common sense."

"Adventure is just a bad vacation with a better story."

"Health is just another word for being bored."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can rent it for a while."

"Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts my schedule entirely."

"Fear is just excitement without breath control."

"Strength isn't about muscles. It's about not crying at your desk."

"Kindness is weakness with a PR department."

"Patience is a virtue I've never had time to develop."

"Justice is blind. Also, it's usually for sale."

"Creativity is intelligence having fun. Intelligence doesn't visit me often."

"Gratitude is what you feel when you realize things could be worse."

"Perseverance is just stubbornness wearing a motivational shirt."

"Death is the only thing more certain than taxes and disappointment."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and most beholders need glasses."