Aqua Teens Hunger Force

"Solitude is what you get when everyone finally realizes how intolerable you are."

"Relationships are contracts where both parties agree to compromise everything."

"Inspiration usually just means you saw someone else do it better."

"Motivation is easier when you blame other people for your lack of success."

"War proves that peace is just temporary failure to disagree correctly."

"Politics is the art of making people believe you care about them."

"Literature is words arranged in ways to make simple ideas seem complicated."

"Philosophy is thinking really hard about things that don't matter."

"History is just a record of people making the same mistakes over and over."

"Technology would be great if it actually worked the way it's supposed to."

"Imagination is what fills the gap between reality and your delusions."

"Adventure is what happens when you get lost looking for something better."

"Health is just slow dying with extra steps and gym memberships."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy things that don't disappoint as quickly."

"Power is getting what you want while everyone thinks it was their idea."

"Fear is just common sense dressed up in fancy psychological terms."

"Strength is knowing you can hit someone and choosing not to, legally speaking."

"Kindness is just an investment in future favors you'll never collect on."

"Patience is for people who don't know how to demand immediate results."

"Justice is whatever works out in your favor, everything else is corruption."

"Creativity is when you rearrange existing ideas in a slightly different order."

"Gratitude is something weak people use to feel better about having nothing."

"Perseverance is just stubbornness with better marketing."

"Death is the only guarantee in life, along with taxes and disappointment."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and most beholders have bad taste."

"Humor is subjective, and everyone's sense of it is wrong except mine."

"Dreams are just your brain wasting electricity while you sleep."

"Work is what you do to avoid your real problems."

"Leadership is just telling people what to do while they ignore you anyway."

"Faith is believing in something you can't prove, which is why I have none."