Aqua Teens Hunger Force

"Inner strength means knowing you can talk your way out of anything."

"Kindness is an investment only if it pays off immediately."

"Patience is a virtue I'm definitely not interested in acquiring."

"True justice is when things go the way you planned."

"Creativity is breaking rules in ways that somehow work out."

"Be grateful for what you have, especially if you stole it fair and square."

"Keep pushing forward, even if you don't know where forward is."

"Death is just the universe kicking you out of the party."

"Beauty fades, but being cool is forever. So is being me."

"Humor is the best way to make people forget you owe them money."

"My dreams are better than reality, so I prefer to sleep."

"Hard work is for people who couldn't scheme their way up."

"A leader doesn't need to be smart, just louder than everyone else."

"Faith in yourself is way better than faith in anything else."

"Good music is whatever I say is good, and I have excellent taste."

"Scientists are just smart people guessing with authority."

"Art is subjective, which means my opinion is the right one."

"Nature is nice to look at on TV while staying inside."

"Peace of mind comes from never thinking about anything too hard."

"Freedom is doing what I want, not what you want me to do."

"The pursuit of truth? More like the pursuit of whatever works."

"Learning is for people who don't already know everything."

"Change is inevitable, which is why I refuse to accept it."

"True courage is doing what you want and blaming someone else."

"Hope springs eternal, but so does disappointment, so why bother."

"Family will drive you crazy, which is why I keep mine at a distance."

"Friendship is when someone agrees with you even though you're wrong."

"The road to success is paved with people you've tricked."

"Love makes you do stupid things. I do stupid things anyway, so I'm winning."

"Life is what happens when you're not paying bills."