Aqua Teens Hunger Force

"The best defense is convincing everybody else they started it."

"I don't make mistakes. Mistakes make themselves around me."

"If everybody would just listen to me, everything would be perfect."

"Solitude is great because nobody can tell me I'm wrong when I'm alone."

"Relationships are simple: you want something from them, or they go away."

"Inspiration comes from looking at what other people have and wanting it."

"Motivation? I'm motivated by whatever benefits me right now."

"War is just a disagreement with violence, and violence is my favorite part."

"Politics is where people lie for a living, and I respect that hustle."

"Literature is words on a page. I prefer pictures."

"Philosophy is what you talk about when you don't have anything real to say."

"History is just stuff that happened before I was paying attention."

"Technology is great when it does what I want it to do."

"Imagination is just reality with better special effects."

"Adventure is when stuff happens that you weren't expecting."

"Health is overrated. I've been doing this for years and I'm fine."

"Money doesn't buy happiness, but it buys things that look like happiness."

"Power is the ability to make other people do stuff for you."

"Fear is just weakness leaving the body, or something like that."

"Strength is knowing you're stronger than everybody around you."

"Kindness is wasted on people who don't deserve it, so I don't bother."

"Patience is for people waiting in line. I jump the line."

"Justice is when I win and everybody else loses."

"Creativity is just doing stuff that sounds crazy until it works."

"I'm grateful for everything I've stolen and gotten away with."

"If you keep doing the same thing, eventually it'll work. Probably."

"Death? I'm not worried about it. I'll figure it out when I get there."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I'm beautiful to me."

"The best jokes are the ones where nobody knows what I'm talking about."

"I dream about being rich and famous and not having to do anything."