Archer

"Work is what happens when your dreams die."

"A leader is someone who doesn't abandon their responsibilities."

"Faith? I have faith that this will all end badly."

"Music helps drown out your constant complaining."

"Science says I should drink less, but what does science know?"

"Art is subjective, unlike this company which is objectively terrible."

"Nature is nice when it's not filled with animals trying to kill you."

"Peace is just what I call my bathroom breaks."

"Freedom would be never hearing any of your voices again."

"The truth is, I hate almost everything about this job."

"Education doesn't guarantee you won't be surrounded by idiots."

"Change is just another word for more work."

"I'm not afraid of anything anymore. I've seen it all."

"Success means not having to deal with you people every day."

"Happy? Who has time to be happy?"

"Friendship is overrated when everyone's a backstabber."

"I've hit rock bottom so many times, I know it by name."

"Life's too short to pretend to care about your nonsense."

"You can't fix stupid, trust me, I've tried."

"Love is just another word for disappointment."

"I'm tired of being the responsible one all the time."

"If you're going to mess up, at least commit to it."

"Why do I even try? Nobody appreciates anything I do."

"Money isn't everything, but it sure as hell helps."

"I deserve better than this, and deep down, I know it."

"You guys are the worst family ever, and I mean that literally."

"I've made some poor life choices, but at least I own them."

"Literally nobody cares about your problems as much as you do."

"You know what? I'm done. I'm so done with all of you."

"I'm not just a secretary, I'm an executive administrative assistant."