Archer

"If you're happy, you're not paying attention."

"I've been through worse wars than you can imagine."

"Freedom is just another word for no budget."

"Health is something you buy from a doctor."

"Nature is an inconvenience."

"Faith is for people without facts."

"Music is noise with a beat."

"Science is just organized guessing."

"Art is worthless unless someone pays for it."

"Imagination is the first step to delusion."

"Adventure is just another word for catastrophe."

"I don't need friends. I have employees."

"Solitude is preferable to bad company."

"Relationships are contracts written in disappointment."

"Inspiration is something you give yourself or you're weak."

"Motivation is just fear with better marketing."

"War is business by other means."

"Politics? That's what happens when stupid people get power."

"Literature is a distraction from reality."

"Philosophy is for people with too much time."

"History is just people repeating their mistakes."

"Technology is ruining everything."

"Money can't buy peace, but it can buy a lot of bourbon."

"I raised a son. Now I'm raising a secret agent. Both are disasters."

"Hope is for fools and the unemployed."

"True strength is admitting nothing."

"Kindness gets you killed. Usually by your friends."

"Patience is for people waiting for something better."

"Justice is whatever I say it is."

"Creativity means knowing how to hide your tracks."