Archer

"Call me old-fashioned, but I think spying should involve actual spying."

"I've forgotten more about espionage than you'll ever know."

"You're not my real son anyway."

"For God's sake, Cyril."

"Are you breathing down the phone at me?"

"I raised you better than this."

"That's what she said."

"When I was your age, I was already drinking."

"I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I also don't care if I do."

"Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants."

"Cyril, put on some pants."

"I'm not insane, I'm just not sane in the traditional sense."

"Philosophy is overthinking what's already obvious."

"History will record my name in diamonds."

"I invented most technologies I use."

"Imagination pales compared to my reality."

"Adventure follows me everywhere I go."

"Health is important; looking healthy is essential."

"Power is the only currency I respect."

"Fear is beneath me."

"Strength is never showing weakness, ever."

"Kindness is fine as long as I benefit."

"Patience is punishment; I prefer consequences."

"Justice favors the well-dressed."

"Creativity is just lying with confidence."

"Gratitude is acknowledging how wonderful I am."

"Perseverance: refusing to accept 'no' from anyone."

"Death is merely a scheduling conflict."

"Beauty requires maintenance, unlike my soul."

"Humor is my weapon of choice."