Archer

"Dreams are just goals with alcohol involved."

"Work is what happens between parties."

"Leadership is making people do what I want."

"Faith in myself is my only religion."

"Music should enhance my moods, not create them."

"Science explains nothing about my appeal."

"Art that doesn't validate me is boring."

"Nature is better through a car window."

"Peace is just a break in my social calendar."

"Freedom tastes like vintage champagne."

"Truth is negotiable; fabulousness is not."

"Time is relative when you're this young-looking."

"Knowledge of fashion is all I need."

"I don't have time for your wisdom."

"Education: knowing when to fake expertise."

"Change is terrifying unless you're already fabulous."

"Being courageous means saying what everyone thinks."

"Hope is a luxury I can't afford to indulge."

"Family is complicated; that's why I prefer scotch."

"A true friend enables your worst impulses."

"Success means never having to share my martini."

"Love should be as intoxicating as my lifestyle."

"My life is either a tragedy or a comedy; I choose comedy."

"Whoever said money can't buy happiness never shopped properly."

"I'm not saying I'm fabulous; facts are facts."

"Hope is for people without a backup plan."

"Family drama is exhausting but excellent material."

"Friendship requires effort; I'm worth it."

"Happiness is being right about everything."

"Love is messy and I prefer clean things."