Archer

"This is exactly why I drink."

"Stop being such a disappointment."

"I don't do feelings, I do martinis."

"That plan is insane. Which means it might actually work."

"You're making my head hurt."

"I've done worse things before breakfast."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy vodka."

"That's the dumbest thing I've heard all week."

"I don't remember asking for your opinion."

"Are you serious right now?"

"In my day, we didn't have all these feelings."

"You're being dramatic again."

"Stop whining and do what I told you."

"I raised a generation of idiots."

"What part of 'no' don't you understand?"

"I don't have favorites, but if I did, it wouldn't be you."

"That's not a suggestion, that's an order."

"If you're going to be stupid, you better be tough."

"You're hopeless, do you know that?"

"I've slept with more people than you've met."

"Is this what you call a plan? It's terrible."

"Back in my day, we handled things with grace and a martini."

"You know what? I don't have time for this."

"This is why we can't have nice things."

"I'm your mother, not your conscience."

"Have you tried not being an idiot?"

"It's not a lie if you believe it."

"I once seduced a man just to get his seat at the opera."

"If you think that's going to work, you're dumber than you look."

"Mother doesn't approve of your life choices."