Bob's Burgers

"I don't need therapy, I need my friends to stop being terrible."

"Music is the only language that makes sense to my broken heart."

"I'm only awkward when people are around."

"If someone doesn't get my references, they're not worth knowing."

"Sometimes you have to do things that scare you to become who you're meant to be."

"I believe I'm going to be an amazing writer someday, or at least a memorable person."

"The key to happiness is low expectations and good fiction."

"I'm not being dramatic, you're being dramatic."

"People are like restaurants - some are worth the wait, others give you food poisoning."

"I don't have time for regular crushes. Mine are always complicated."

"Ew, gross, love is so gross."

"I'm going to marry my passion, not another person."

"The worst part about being a teenager is that everything feels like the end of the world."

"I'm not antisocial, I'm selectively social."

"If I were a superhero, my power would be making everyone uncomfortable."

"I don't do well with change, I do well with complaining about change."

"My imagination is the only place I'm actually cool."

"I'm trying to be a better person, but it's so hard when everyone else sucks."

"The real treasure is the friends we make along the way, and also actual treasure."

"I'm not awkward, I'm just comfortable being uncomfortable."

"Friendship is beautiful until someone betrays you, then you write about them."

"I believe in signs from the universe, and right now it's telling me to nap."

"My grades are slipping because I'm too busy being emotional."

"Life is like a badly written teen romance novel - confusing and slightly embarrassing."

"I'm the opposite of a hero - I'm very relatable."

"If I don't respond, I'm probably dead."

"Everyone's got a darkness inside them, and I'm just trying to explore mine through fiction."

"I'm not crying, I'm just leaking."

"My love is like the ocean - it's deep, it's dark, and it smells like fish."

"The truth is, I don't know anything about anything."