Bob's Burgers

"I should be a ghost writer, because I haunt people's thoughts with my words."

"Relationships are like burgers - they need the right ingredients to work."

"I'm not a dreamer, I'm a dream-liver."

"Butts."

"The only way to know if you're in love is to write a song about them."

"I live for the bus."

"Sometimes the only way to deal with betrayal is through interpretive dance."

"I'm going to count to three, and then I'm going to lose my mind."

"Everything hurts and I'm dying."

"I don't want your life. I have my own life."

"My obsession with Jocelyn is strictly platonic. Well, mostly."

"I'm not sick, I'm just emotionally unwell."

"Tina, you're scaring the customers."

"I'm writing erotic friend fiction now."

"My heart just broke into a thousand pieces, and I hate all of you."

"Ugh, I'm dead inside."

"I'm no hero. I put my pants on just like everyone else, one leg at a time. Except, once my pants are on, I make gold-encrusted decisions."

"Life's what you make it, and mine's going to be legendary."

"I'm the only one who really gets what's going on here."

"Everything is better because I said so."

"You can't tell me what to do because I'm awesome."

"I'm going to change the world someday."

"My potential is limitless."

"I don't waste time on things that don't matter."

"You're all beneath me, but I tolerate you anyway."

"I'm going to be something great."

"Life is better when you're fearless."

"I don't follow trends. I set them."

"The future belongs to people like me."

"I'm not conceited, I'm just aware of my value."