Bob's Burgers

"Life is a competition, and I'm playing to win."

"You want wisdom? Pay for it like everyone else."

"Happiness is a byproduct of success, not the goal."

"Courage is knowing when to fight and when to wait."

"Hope is for the hopeless. I deal in certainties."

"Health is wealth, but money is better health."

"Politics and business are the same game with different rules."

"Philosophy is what people study when they can't make real money."

"History is written by the winners, and I plan to be one."

"Technology is a tool, and I know how to use it."

"Imagination is nice, but execution is better."

"Adventure is for people who are bored with their lives."

"Solitude is where I do my best scheming."

"Relationships are transactions. Remember that."

"Inspiration comes from winning, and I do plenty of that."

"I don't do motivation speeches, I do results."

"Perseverance is just stubbornness with a better PR team."

"Death comes for everyone, so I'm making my mark while I can."

"Justice is whatever benefits me most."

"Creativity is just copying better."

"Gratitude is what losers practice."

"Kindness is weakness dressed up in nice clothing."

"Patience is a virtue I simply don't have."

"Strength is the only language that matters in business."

"I didn't become successful by being humble."

"Dreams are for sleeping. Action is for winning."

"Work hard, play hard, win harder."

"A real leader doesn't ask for permission."

"Faith is a crutch for the weak."

"Music is just noise unless it's making me money."