It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

"Leadership means controlling everyone around you completely."

"Faith is believing in yourself, and I do that perfectly."

"Music is background noise to the symphony of my greatness."

"Science confirms what I already knew about my superiority."

"Art is only valuable if it celebrates my existence."

"Nature bows to the will of superior men like myself."

"Peace is boring; conflict is where I thrive."

"Humor is a tool I use to manipulate the simple-minded."

"I am the best at everything I attempt because I'm the best at everything."

"Adventure is just another playground for my superiority."

"Education is for people who can't think their way to success."

"I don't believe in hope; I believe in certainty."

"History will remember me as the greatest man of my generation."

"Technology exists to serve people like me."

"My imagination is superior because everything I imagine is superior."

"I have the strength to do whatever I decide to do."

"Kindness is weakness, and I don't do weakness."

"I'm not motivated by money; money is motivated by me."

"Other men can't compete with me on any level."

"I would die before admitting I was wrong about anything."

"Justice is whatever benefits Dennis Reynolds."

"Creativity means doing what I want when I want."

"Time is just another resource I control better than anyone."

"I'm always five steps ahead of everyone else."

"Health is important, but not as important as winning."

"I appreciate nothing and no one except myself."

"Change is for people who can't succeed with the status quo."

"I have dreams, and unlike you losers, I'll achieve them."

"The waitress is my soulmate; she just doesn't know it yet."

"I don't need validation from any of you."