It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

"Work is the price you pay for eating, it's that simple."

"Leadership is just responsibility for other people's failures."

"Faith requires ignoring evidence, which I refuse to do."

"Music is the only thing that makes sense in a senseless world."

"Science explains the universe, but not why people are so terrible."

"Art requires talent, which most people lack."

"Nature doesn't care; it just exists, indifferent and cruel."

"Freedom is just the ability to make your own bad decisions."

"I know the truth about these people, and it's worse than you think."

"Time moves differently when you're miserable."

"Knowledge is useless if no one listens to what you know."

"Education means nothing if you're surrounded by the uneducated."

"The only constant is that everything constantly disappoints you."

"Being brave means doing things you're terrified of anyway."

"Hope is dangerous; it makes you believe things could actually improve."

"Family doesn't choose you, which explains a lot about my situation."

"Real friends call you out; everyone else just wants something from you."

"Success for me is just getting through the day without rage-quitting."

"I've made peace with the fact that I'm surrounded by idiots."

"The biggest lie is telling yourself things will get better."

"Don't waste your time trying to change people; they'll disappoint you anyway."

"I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I'm also not the worst one here."

"Love is just chemicals in your brain making you stupid."

"People are exhausting, and I'm tired of pretending otherwise."

"I deserve better than this, and deep down, everyone knows it."

"Stop looking at me like that; I can feel it."

"Solitude is peaceful until you realize you're alone for a reason."

"Relationships require communication, which is why most of them fail."

"Inspiration strikes when you least expect it, usually too late."

"Motivation is what you need when you're doing something you hate."